Wednesday, 12 December 2012

12th December

1985: God, look at the leonine mullet on the bloke to Janice Long's left. No codpieces just yet for Cameo but a good amount of vigorous bowing, reflective coats, some robot dancing and a bassist who sees his instrument as a weapon. Or a phallic symbol, one or the other. None of the above apply to Shakin’ Stevens, who contents himself with a comfortable, worn-in jumper and a saxophonist attempting to look inconspicuous.

1991: Cliff Richard's got a bit big for his festive boots, requiring a full festive living room set. Wonder if he wears a jacket like that around the house as a matter of course. He resisted the urge to wish anybody a merry Christmas during the breakdown and so it wasn't a number one. Salt'n'Pepa liberated Spinderella from behind her decks, started singing a Turtles cover and turned into a poor man's En Vogue. There's a morality play going on here if you follow closely. It's hard to imagine Martika and her dancers are acting similarly.

1997: Janet Jackson took the time between albums to start growing novelty bonsai out of her scalp. The screen at the back appears to be a shot from the back of the stage, as if it were Dixons. Robbie Williams resists the opportunities for showboating but does provoke a lot of pointing. When you're on the same show as a tracksuit topped debuting Five you take whatever subtlety you can.

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