23rd August

1979: What is Steve Wright going on about? Don't answer that. The Flying Lizards introduce miming avant-garde playing to the television audience. Second question: Were The Planets embarrassed by their use of backing vocalists? Despite putting them in uniform that may be why they're so far from the rest of the band. The Jam's Bruce Foxton was pleased with himself even if he didn't look it, for good reason - he'd gained free entry to museums and theme parks. Nothing complements Randy Vanwarmer more than Legs & Co dancing around big suitcases, evidently. At number one, and there's a little clue to its status here, Cliff Richard, as ever trying his effervescent best. "Shee-ee-ee-ep!"

1984: Do you see what Miami Sound Machine are doing here? Zoo, being Zoo, can't be bothered to join in with the dressing up when for once it might have proved appropriate. Not sure what that bloke next to the bassist thinks he's doing, it's even more evident he's not a member of the band than usual. Alphaville's singer starts with a hand in his pocket, unless it just got lost in a jacket that big. Though the same colour, I doubt you'd even call what Tony Hadley is wearing here a proper jacket but this, apparently, is what sophistication by now looked like to Spandau Ballet. George Michael was at number one, causing Mike Read to call his co-host "Tomski" and Michael to exude.

1990: Credit to The Human League for appearing despite Phil Oakey's leather jacket having been ripped to shreds in the washing machine. The circling shots midway through add absolutely nothing but the sense of motion sickness, much like Lindy Layton adds nothing to Janet Kay's song even though Kay's guesting on it doing that note she does. The dancer in the green catsuit is adding even less other than resembling constant attack by bees. And at number one Bombalurina run through the routine one more time, this time with Timmy in shorts, as was his wont. He's even joining in with the routines now.

1996: Number ten with their tenth top 40 hit, the musical career of Ant & Dec remains a thing of wonder. This one resembles a race to see who can refrain from pissing themselves laughing the longest. Backstreet Boys do it properly, open shirts and white vests guaranteed to send the girls wild. The "UK!" call and response seems to lack a response. Oh look, Bear Van Beers again, introducing OMC's Pauly Fuemana intent on shouting his hit.