13th May

1971: The Hollies' Allan Clarke shows off his special trouser hems.

1976: How on earth would you explain The Wurzels to the uninitiated? He's not really playing that sousaphone, is he? Meanwhile it's the nightmare combination of DLT dancing and Paul Nicholas. Ruby Flipper got their own chance later on with Archie Bell and the Drells, and no surprise to see who gets the short shorts.

1982: Literally entering stage right, Simon Le Bon passes a man in a silly hat to join Duran Duran and their many shades of suit. The Associates too are dressed for the occasion, though one doubts Martha Laidly is really playing that violin like that. Joan Jett & The Blackhearts get the whole audience onside and punching the air along like Americans, while Fun Boy Three let the horn section have their moment.

1993: Tina Turner, live via satellite from Monte Carlo (!), where they have good amounts of arena reverb and a screen for her to stand behind for a big entrance.

2005: Hello, Amerie's band? We kind of worked out that's not actual percussion, it's a sample. Also, you forgot the guitar and synth parts. Thank goodness for bands who know what they need like Oasis with Liam in his Hopkirk suit. Or indeed Maximo Park, Paul Smith quite the surprise package. Nobody ever said "thank you, Top Of The Pops!" at the end of songs so passive-aggressively.