1977: Are Thin Lizzy really improved by slow dancing couples, much slower than the song's rhythm at that? And is Legs & Co doing sit down routines in a dodgem, Lulu as designated driver in her jauntily coloured chauffeur's cap, really what Jonathan Richman had in mind?
1983: Mike Read in shorts! At least a week's written notice, please. A very underwhelmed intro for KC & The Sunshine Band. Perhaps they'd seen what the dancers had planned too. Zoo are a real nuisance this week - their Elvis Costello treatment sadly is no longer on YouTube but has to be seen to be believed, but they don't have a problem attempting to upstage The Lotus Eaters. And then the Dynamos turn up to illustrate Malcolm McLaren's Double Dutch - and the producer gets their own people to do their own skipping! Not even Double Dutch style, just normal jump rope! There's already people just over there, having travelled all the way from Harlem for their artistry, doing that to a much higher standard! You didn't do that to Jeffrey Daniel. Wisely Zoo don't go anywhere near Robert Plant, though a decent hairdresser should have. The rundowns include Read somehow losing a baseless arm wrestle.
1988: Shakin' Stevens embarks on an attempt to catch out the director, running and spinning all over the place before resorting to waggling his arse at the audience. That's how they all used to be in rockabilly, as by 1988 dancing had been reduced to movements led from the shoulders going by Yazz & The Plastic Population. Very odd editing blights Siouxsie & The Banshees, cutting from Siouxsie's in-studio vocal to the video on random lines. More people should have used an empty mike stand as a hatstand.
1994: Shampoo must be where the archetype of one hand on the hip to signify female attitude started. Big shades, obviously. Red Dragon could only afford two sets of dancers, meaning great big empty space behind them. Erasure surrounded by pansies? Too easy on their part.
2000: Destiny's Child in their best gold trousers, Robbie Williams with his extravagant walking and bulldog T-shirt. What's the "3-0!" about?